Developer Diary 10

When you live in a trailer you save a lot of money, and when you have the chance to live close to your parent's house you can save even more money. More money means more budget, less time spent on other work and more freedom to set your own schedule.

Over the last week I fixed the entire folder structure and integrated a new item system into Lakini's Woods. It was exhausting. While moving the folders I felt like I was going insane ... time went by so slowly... I kept counting the hours ... each minute.

I'm so tired. I wish I could proudly tell you: "I have worked XX hours last week, man am I tough, phew". But the truth is, I have no idea how much I work. I sleep, get up, make some coffee, boot up the engine, and on it goes. When it gets too much I take my dog out for a walk, and when I come back I sit down again in front of the screen. I spend as much time with my family as I can, but each day I work longer and longer into the night. I still love every second of it; I just wish I wouldn't be so tired all the time.

Each day I spend some time on facebook, checking out other developers and their screenshots. This can be horribly intimidating at times. Sometimes the entire project can make you feel pretty hopeless, especially when you see groups and entire game development studios working on much smaller games. But I want to work on this alone. I can't stand arguments with other crew members anymore or the inevitable discussions on whether something is a good idea or not. I'm so tired of other people's feedback.

I added a distorted E guitar to the trailer score yesterday night. It blends perfectly with the horn section and the choirs at the climax. I'm so close ... once the item system is finished I'll set up all interactable meshes and locations and then it's all about level design. All it takes for a decent trailer is maybe 5 to 6 great locations with AI and SFX. I'm so close...

I don't want to go to bed. I've been having a ton of nightmares, some of which are perfectly usable as locations in Lakini's Woods. Once I dreamed of an enormous white apartment building with glass ceilings and glass walls. I tried to enter some of the rooms, but all the doors were locked. I was trying to get away from someone. That person was using the escalator to ride up and down the apartment complex to find me, but I managed to stay ahead of him. But then I had less exciting dreams ... most of them involve people that have (at least in my view) betrayed me in the past and I'm having a really hard time letting go of it. It is beyond me how people are able to forgive anyone. A memory pops into my head and I'm as angry as I was on day 1. And I just can't let it go and it drives me insane, because even at night these things won't let me rest.

I have several ideas of how Lakini's Woods will end, but I want to give the actors a chance to develop each character to a point where their interactions automatically lead towards a solution. I want them to forgive one another... but how?