Late afternoon a soft clacking noise broke the silence of the forest and drew Y's attention. He knew she was close. His darkness would hide his anxiety. He still didn't have an answer, but she would expect one. It wasn't her first visit either and he imagined she would grow inpatient. A strange black silhouette moved past the windows in the distance. The door softly opened as she lowered her head to enter his cramped hideout. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. An entourage of silhouettes remained outside. With each passing day Y became more worried. Her influence had grown. She spoke to them and worse ... some of them listened. Her eyes focused on him in anticipation as she slowly raised her head again.
Y: No.
A: (sigh) Venerable one ...
Y: We have seen different worlds. You can't expect me to act based on yours.
A: Then if I may ask: What took place in yours last night?
Y: I ate them.
A: You ... ate them?
Y: I did.
A: And you believe that this is a ... positive occurrence?
Y: I watched them. They are so full of light. Full of happiness. In their afternoons I play chess with the kid. He can't beat me yet, but he's getting better. Even though they retain no memory of the preceding nights they still seem to ... evolve. No night is like the last one. When they fall asleep ... I can't control it. It has been a long time since I felt this way... don't you remember what it's like to see something and know that you want to consume it, so it can become a part of you?
A: Forgive me sire ... but the leaves I fed on caused little misfortune to the beings carrying them.
Y: One could argue what I did caused even less, as these beings are merely a reflection.
A: Sire, I fail to follow your decision making process...
Y: In their world, I am merely a force of nature. If what you claim to be true, is in fact true, then they will never overcome me. But I still believe they eventually will. They take different routes ... their strategies evolve ... some nights can be quite demanding ...
A: Even if they do, you won't stop.
Y: We won't know that until it happens now will we?
A: This is just a game to y-
Y: NO. It lies in the nature of consciousness to continue fighting and to persist despite all odds. This is a valiant quality. What you propose has nothing to do with mercy. It is an attempt at shrouding your own misery in a coat of empathy. Awareness gives rise to a multitude of dual phenomena. This duality carries value. It gives rise to the beauty of a million worlds, to the birth of time and space, to the quiet dignity found in the appreciation of a peaceful experience. Do you think you are the only one that suffered misfortune in their life?
A: I am the first one, that realized that the extremes of suffering are the only relevant consideration to be made. Beings like you lose sight of the sheer volume and intensity of it.
How are you right now my king?
Do you feel fine? Is your belly filled with the light of a million worlds?
Are you ... content in your current form?
We are both trapped in duality as we speak. How much longer will you remain "content" my king?
Y: I perform a duty. The ones that choose to follow me do so willingly. They understand the sacrifice I had to make in order to serve them and countless others. No, I am not content. No, I am not satisfied. Far from it. This being's satisfaction hasn't been a priority for a very long time.
A: And yet you choose to play silly games instead of making a decision ... and until you make that decision a spiked wheel keeps on turning on the backs of my brothers and sisters.
Y: The wheel is there for a reason. If your brothers and sister were truly innocent they would be in here in front of my mirrors and not out there hiding from view. An entourage of cowards will hardly convince me. The sheer madness of this proposition ... suffering may have been your final destination. For countless others it was the beginning of their development. Our separation is minimal compared to the separation experienced in their worlds. Experiencing this level of individuality, the freedom to act based on what your individuality believes in and then experience the joys and suffering that come from it ... it is true, these things can be a burden. But they are also the greatest gift bestowed upon us. You are blind to the gift you have been given, even if you had to pay the highest price for it.
A: And what a gift it was ... the gift to hear my child cry out in vain you mean?
Y: That reminds me ... how come I didn't see your child in that reflection?
A: My existence had no effect on it. It was driven by instinct and so was I. But our suffering was quite real, I can assure you.
Y: Oh, I believe you. It's just strange ... you must have been dead inside for quite a while before they shot you. Care to share?
A: ...
Y: I thought so. Emptiness does not discriminate. I won't disrespect you with condescending words of compassion. But you should leave now. You will receive an answer in time. Until then I expect you to be patient.
She stared at him in silent disbelief. Then with a sudden terrifying bark turned around and rushed away.
The door fell shut behind her and silence came over the king.
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