Yo I can upload images again!!!!

 Working on the deep house.

I know. What you're seeing makes no sense.

But then again, the deep house makes no sense.

Working Towards Release

I'm working towards a probable release date. For the first time in almost 11 years I can see it.

Blogspot won't allow me to post screenshots anymore, so this is awesome.

It feels like the internet is slowly falling apart ... 

Anyway ... there's a lot of work being done right now. Altogether I'm missing two boss encounters and shit ton of QA and testing.

And I hope to set up a small publishing company in order to get some kind of legal protection before I open up the steam page.

Either way, progress is being made. I'm hoping to post more frequently again.

S.M

Blogspot Is Causing Issues

Blogspot has been acting up over the last couple of months. It won't let me post or upload images and sends me into a Google account login spiral instead, asking me to repeatedly login again, despite the fact that I'm already logged in. I hope I can post updates again soon.

I've been tirelessly working since June last year and will soon send out more updates.

Update June

I've finished the Knight's boss encounter and section 09, then started working on Paundraka (the final boss fight of chapter 01) but ran into a wall. Eventually I decided to prioritize the orphanage inside the monastery, because apart from the main shadow encounters it is also a "must-have" in a potential 2025 release of chapter 01, because it's the player's starting area.

It is incredibly difficult to create the set dressing for such a large area. Especially because I set high standards that evolved while I was watching several playthroughs by streamer Threedogg ( https://www.twitch.tv/threedogg). He is amazing when it comes to lore and analyzing setdressing. I remember I used to watch him for hours play PT, Silent Hill, or Darkwood and he would move towards every single item and put it into lore context, imagining stories and background events based on the simple placement of a specific item.

In our daily lives, each item around us didn't just fall out of the sky. There's a story behind every pen, every note, every cup of coffee. How did it get there? Why is at this location and not over there?

These questions haunt me. I try to do my best to give even every-day items in the monastery environment meaning ... but it is incredibly complex and difficult. 

There's a game of checkers on the table. Who is playing against who? And who won? If a grown up was playing against a kid, would they sit on the same size chair? Would the kid's chair be different? Would the table be lower if it was located in an area reserved for kids to play board games? What is the saturation of the color of the board? It probably has been used for many years and the monastery does not have a lot of money. So it should look a bit faded. But what about the pieces? They are of a different material, than the board itself? Would they lose color as well?

All of this used to be a lot easier when I was working on the forest environment. Yes, there are also rules when it comes to foliage. Medium trees will surround the largest mother tree and saplings will surround the medium tree. Reeds only grow at shore points where nitrogen accumulates to support their growth. Ferns grow better in half-shade, while flowers prefer direct sunlight. Then there's a certain element of chaos in everything ... depending on which types of trees died in this area, different nutrients would accumulate in the soil. But it can't really be predicted, so you just use the UE4 brush with foliage randomization over a large area and then work with what you've got.

Finding this balance, between consistency and work efficiency is incredibly difficult. But once again: We're making progress!

Update May - %''$)&`%($)%'####!!!!!

Finally making some slow progress again. I can't bring into words the amount of distractions and bullshit that haunted me over the last weeks. Did a full rework of section 09 and I'm playtesting again.

Section 09 is now the location in which the rooks attempted their first construction efforts. They learned to build monuments and structures in the name of the king, but sadly most of them were left abandoned in this forsaken place. 

I have a major issue right now: My debug log and to do list is too long and not prioritized. During gameplay I noticed a bunch of things, that impacted my enjoyment but they don't even appear on the list or only some of them do.

A new mindset is required in which I prioritize based on "enjoyment impact".

During the last couple of weeks my creativity and overall ability to let myself "fall into the world" took a major hit. I'm slowly regenerating again and the original plan still stands. I know which milestones to hit and what to do next. But many of these tasks require a clear mind and strong problem solving skills, and my mind muscles are tired. 

From experience I know that the key is to simply do "something". Even if it's just 5 minutes of playtesting. Over time, these intervals become longer and longer until one day I'll find myself in a 10 hour coding session again. But the road back is never easy and the distractions and life commitments don't just disappear. 

Patience. Slow progress. Calm mind. Low ambitions. No expectations. And room for a deep dive when the right moment arises.

This is key.

Update April

Lots of personal craziness went on throughout the last month, but I figured everything out and I'm back on track.

A ton of bugs have been fixed and performance optimizations were implemented. There are currently 5 major things that need to happen before the end of this year in order to stay on track for a 2025 spring release date:

- Further QA for the 9 center segments

- The Knights boss encounter

- Paundraka boss encounter (Yama's buffalo)

- The monastery and pathways for Chapter 01

- Optional cutscenes that give lore background and cues for the player

On top of that I'll also need to set up a publishing company and prepare the legal background for a release of chapter 01. If this is complete, then I can release chapter 02 way more quickly, because a lot less elements are needed to continue the story and the foundation is already set. For chapter 02 only Yama's scribe and the Bishop boss fight would need to be added.

Right now I'm working on the design of Ox-head and Horseface, the guards of the underworld aka "The Knights". The music for both Paundraka and the Knight's gate is complete and all I need to do now is to design the locations, areas and the overall succession of boss fight events that the player needs to deal with.

So this month the goal is completion of the first encounter with the Knights. This will be the player's access point to Lakini's Woods and Yama's palace. 

Lore Chapter 09: Y & L

During a particularly exhausting night of guidance and reflection the king fell back into his throne. A being of such tremendous power ... suddenly reduced to human weakness. The forms and shapes of his manifestations in front of him - created in an instant of madness. Able to observe and yet unable to perceive, confused in a fog of doubt - a thought occurred.

Slowly descending the steps towards the mirror that made all the difference and yet none at all. A mystery in and of itself now, since his doubts had taken hold of him. The surface of this magnificent creation was so pure, like an ocean of experiences and identities ... how many life reviews had he undertaken? Countless ... time was of no meaning. A being of perfect presence, of endless patience and enormous capacity and intelligence. And yet none of it made any sense. All purpose lost, all tasks meaningless in the face of the arbiter's revelation. An unsolved mystery.

How intriguing.

How mystifying.

Impossible to let go.

As he touched the surface of the mirror shapes began to form. Another life was hanging in the balance. "Not now", he thought. A brief "You're not ready yet" later and the surface of the mirror began to return to its original state. 

Sometimes he wondered how he appears to them. The light took many different forms inside their consciousness ... all of them vastly pleasing. He couldn't imagine his own form would be pleasing to them at all. A wise man maybe? A dark shadow, or a shape ... the thought they might mistake him for the devil amused him. But then all religious metaphors lose meaning in this place and all that remains are stories and realizations of the interconnectedness of all life forms and histories. 

His thirst for knowledge and unceasing desire to get to the core of each identity made him become the guides of all guides. Humans and other intelligent life forms have formed connections with him for aeons. Talking through them made his task easier ... the ones that would arrive in his abode after the deterioration of their physical form would many times already understand their own minds ... when all you have to do is show them some blind spots, the task of leading them towards a new identity becomes much easier. You embrace them in a blanket of warmth before it happens. This is so important for many of them. Others need a different tool set to shake them out of their delusions. A surprising amount actually. It all depends on where they are at ... where they came from. 

"Ignorance can be a demeaning master", he thought. The simple act of occasional self-serving cruelty and the joy associated with it could trap beings in a cycle of victim and perpetrator rebirth for many centuries. For a brief moment he wondered whether the arbiter's revelation could be considered a crime? Harm was done ... but not directed at him ... And even if it could be considered a crime ... what would constitute just punishment? If he were keen on retaliation he would refrain from it. Knowing what he knows .. seeing what he has seen ... It was the harm done to her that then resulted in a chain of events leading him to this state of mind, at this moment in time

But what even is time ... when you are observing a place manifested by your own perplexed consciousness in which the guardians of all life have made their home in the forms of natural catastrophes. What a mad, mad world.

His mind was going in cycles as he softly brushed the surface of the mirror again. A new shape began to form. Bright, pink, purple, blue ... the colours seemed to change slightly and yet it was beautiful. "My old friend", he thought. "Would you like to engage in conversation with me?" Suddenly the light engulfed him head to heel and the rapture took him away.

L: "The one who manifests ... what a joy it is to see you again."

Y: "Likewise old friend"

L: "You are troubled ... those doubts you carry - is there something that can be done?"

Y: "It is this identity's burden to carry unfortunately."

L: "It was perceived that you have made some plans. You are conducting a trial. The answer you are looking for might be more elusive than you realize"

Y: "Are you worried the results of this deliberation will turn out to be ... not in your favour?"

L: "Nothing's really in anyone's favour when they inhabit a physical form - that has always been part of the equation"

Y: "You are dancing old friend. And the choreography is stunning and beautiful. But your partner is astonishing as well in the way he reacts to your moves in every way. One could make the argument, that it is time for both of you to take a break. For the benefit of all that ever was and ever will be"

L: "This partner of mine is not a tool for you to use in order to pick a lock. You split me in two. There is no need for that. And some things are locked for a reason"

Y: "You performed that split a long, long time ago. As your child ... why shouldn't I? But we are drifting from the subject matter ... So you would concede, that certain things should not take place? That some experiences are not meant to be experienced?"

L: "What do you want to hear? It is felt across all planes of existence. That bottomless ache ... that disappointment ... our dance is terrible, I am well aware ... but without it, there would be no room for growth and eventually the opposite experience"

Y: "Should the opposite be experienced? In all of my deliberations there was not a single consistent benefit in such a heavenly state I could observe. Feels nice, sure. For a while anyway. But it doesn't last. And the ones that earned it by all measure, voluntarily refused to enter into it and instead returned to the dregs. In spite of my guidance ... obviously."

L: "That alone is worth it. They wouldn't be who they are without the suffering they endured. This is the birth of love."

Y: "And yet, they are still the ones suffering the worst of existence"

L: "Even if you discount everything these magnificent beings bring forth - what about experience itself? Why can't you just let go and perceive these manifestations as what they are without holding on to them? This is home, this has always been home. And no matter how far out all of you think you are, you'll all be home eventually, because you never left. "

Y: "Attachment is not an accident of nature. It is the natural state of a physical body. It is the tool that you use in order to facilitate this growth you talk about. If your primary defence consists of waltzing off this responsibility on to your children, then I fear the outcome of this trial may not be in your favour."

L: " Love is felt for her ... so much love ... but her mind is clouded by her experiences ... she has not detached from what she needs to let go of. She blames us for her own manifestations. She needs to confront them and grow through them. If you let her illusions dictate the story of our existence and follow her advice the music will stop ... she's already putting words in your mouth"

Y: "I never said I would do that. She has found the love you speak of. But it is a love foreign to you, a love that is opposed to you. The degree to which I interfere is a matter of consideration. I have refrained from doing so. But where there is no balance, there can be no justice"

L: "And what is the point of justice if there is no one left to feel neither remorse nor vindication? What is the point of your sacrifice if there is no one left to receive it? Or anyone's sacrifice for that matter? When all lessons become meaningless, when all of our children lose their identity and who they've become ... she is preaching stagnation, not salvation"

Y: "Ways and means can be discussed. Their goal however rests on the outcome of this trial and therefore might become non-negotiable"

(Both rest in a moment of beautiful silence)

L: "Inconceivable admiration is felt for you"

Y: "For you as well old friend. May all your children eventually find their way back home."

As they part ways the surface of the mirror returns to its original state. The ocean of existence and the waves of its meaning hidden deep in the depths of the king's experience.