During a particularly exhausting night of guidance and reflection the king fell back into his throne. A being of such tremendous power ... suddenly reduced to human weakness. The forms and shapes of his manifestations in front of him - created in an instant of madness. Able to observe and yet unable to perceive, confused in a fog of doubt - a thought occurred.
Slowly descending the steps towards the mirror that made all the difference and yet none at all. A mystery in and of itself now, since his doubts had taken hold of him. The surface of this magnificent creation was so pure, like an ocean of experiences and identities ... how many life reviews had he undertaken? Countless ... time was of no meaning. A being of perfect presence, of endless patience and enormous capacity and intelligence. And yet none of it made any sense. All purpose lost, all tasks meaningless in the face of the arbiter's revelation. An unsolved mystery.
How intriguing.
How mystifying.
Impossible to let go.
As he touched the surface of the mirror shapes began to form. Another life was hanging in the balance. "Not now", he thought. A brief "You're not ready yet" later and the surface of the mirror began to return to its original state.
Sometimes he wondered how he appears to them. The light took many different forms inside their consciousness ... all of them vastly pleasing. He couldn't imagine his own form would be pleasing to them at all. A wise man maybe? A dark shadow, or a shape ... the thought they might mistake him for the devil amused him. But then all religious metaphors lose meaning in this place and all that remains are stories and realizations of the interconnectedness of all life forms and histories.
His thirst for knowledge and unceasing desire to get to the core of each identity made him become the guides of all guides. Humans and other intelligent life forms have formed connections with him for aeons. Talking through them made his task easier ... the ones that would arrive in his abode after the deterioration of their physical form would many times already understand their own minds ... when all you have to do is show them some blind spots, the task of leading them towards a new identity becomes much easier. You embrace them in a blanket of warmth before it happens. This is so important for many of them. Others need a different tool set to shake them out of their delusions. A surprising amount actually. It all depends on where they are at ... where they came from.
"Ignorance can be a demeaning master", he thought. The simple act of occasional self-serving cruelty and the joy associated with it could trap beings in a cycle of victim and perpetrator rebirth for many centuries. For a brief moment he wondered whether the arbiter's revelation could be considered a crime? Harm was done ... but not directed at him ... And even if it could be considered a crime ... what would constitute just punishment? If he were keen on retaliation he would refrain from it. Knowing what he knows .. seeing what he has seen ... It was the harm done to her that then resulted in a chain of events leading him to this state of mind, at this moment in time
But what even is time ... when you are observing a place manifested by your own perplexed consciousness in which the guardians of all life have made their home in the forms of natural catastrophes. What a mad, mad world.
His mind was going in cycles as he softly brushed the surface of the mirror again. A new shape began to form. Bright, pink, purple, blue ... the colours seemed to change slightly and yet it was beautiful. "My old friend", he thought. "Would you like to engage in conversation with me?" Suddenly the light engulfed him head to heel and the rapture took him away.
L: "The one who manifests ... what a joy it is to see you again."
Y: "Likewise old friend"
L: "You are troubled ... those doubts you carry - is there something that can be done?"
Y: "It is this identity's burden to carry unfortunately."
L: "It was perceived that you have made some plans. You are conducting a trial. The answer you are looking for might be more elusive than you realize"
Y: "Are you worried the results of this deliberation will turn out to be ... not in your favour?"
L: "Nothing's really in anyone's favour when they inhabit a physical form - that has always been part of the equation"
Y: "You are dancing old friend. And the choreography is stunning and beautiful. But your partner is astonishing as well in the way he reacts to your moves in every way. One could make the argument, that it is time for both of you to take a break. For the benefit of all that ever was and ever will be"
L: "This partner of mine is not a tool for you to use in order to pick a lock. You split me in two. There is no need for that. And some things are locked for a reason"
Y: "You performed that split a long, long time ago. As your child ... why shouldn't I? But we are drifting from the subject matter ... So you would concede, that certain things should not take place? That some experiences are not meant to be experienced?"
L: "What do you want to hear? It is felt across all planes of existence. That bottomless ache ... that disappointment ... our dance is terrible, I am well aware ... but without it, there would be no room for growth and eventually the opposite experience"
Y: "Should the opposite be experienced? In all of my deliberations there was not a single consistent benefit in such a heavenly state I could observe. Feels nice, sure. For a while anyway. But it doesn't last. And the ones that earned it by all measure, voluntarily refused to enter into it and instead returned to the dregs. In spite of my guidance ... obviously."
L: "That alone is worth it. They wouldn't be who they are without the suffering they endured. This is the birth of love."
Y: "And yet, they are still the ones suffering the worst of existence"
L: "Even if you discount everything these magnificent beings bring forth - what about experience itself? Why can't you just let go and perceive these manifestations as what they are without holding on to them? This is home, this has always been home. And no matter how far out all of you think you are, you'll all be home eventually, because you never left. "
Y: "Attachment is not an accident of nature. It is the natural state of a physical body. It is the tool that you use in order to facilitate this growth you talk about. If your primary defence consists of waltzing off this responsibility on to your children, then I fear the outcome of this trial may not be in your favour."
L: " Love is felt for her ... so much love ... but her mind is clouded by her experiences ... she has not detached from what she needs to let go of. She blames us for her own manifestations. She needs to confront them and grow through them. If you let her illusions dictate the story of our existence and follow her advice the music will stop ... she's already putting words in your mouth"
Y: "I never said I would do that. She has found the love you speak of. But it is a love foreign to you, a love that is opposed to you. The degree to which I interfere is a matter of consideration. I have refrained from doing so. But where there is no balance, there can be no justice"
L: "And what is the point of justice if there is no one left to feel neither remorse nor vindication? What is the point of your sacrifice if there is no one left to receive it? Or anyone's sacrifice for that matter? When all lessons become meaningless, when all of our children lose their identity and who they've become ... she is preaching stagnation, not salvation"
Y: "Ways and means can be discussed. Their goal however rests on the outcome of this trial and therefore might become non-negotiable"
(Both rest in a moment of beautiful silence)
L: "Inconceivable admiration is felt for you"
Y: "For you as well old friend. May all your children eventually find their way back home."
As they part ways the surface of the mirror returns to its original state. The ocean of existence and the waves of its meaning hidden deep in the depths of the king's experience.
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